Monday, June 26, 2006

daddy-o


belated happy birthday dad :))
different colored balloons fill the blue sky, but i hope mine will reach you.
{edited}

Daddy-o,

I finally survived hell year: 3rd year! With fairly good grades, too. (compared to my 2nd year grades which are just yikes) Slacking off is still my thing though, but I'm trying harder now, although I obviously still suck at math. I wish you were here. You're the only one who could help me with those seemingly confusing math problems which I've always hated ever since. I'm ultimately scared about entrance exams though. I don't think I'll have enough brainpower left for solving those math problems when I do get there :)) Do help me, please.

I've filled out my UPCAT form last last month! I would really love to go to Diliman, dad. I feel that I can be great there. My first choice, and you might be surprised to know, is BA Fine Arts. I know I'm not exactly the Pablo Picasso when it comes to drawing, but I do love art and I do have a passion for it. I have to pass the talent test too though, and I pray that you'll be with me to keep me calm and sane, since I’m going to need that.
Creative Writing is my second. Still remember the poems I "struggled" making as a child? I used words which sounded big enough to me, without minding what it meant. I have always been after the "rhyme" and how good it sounds when I recite it. :))

You know what? I've been practicing and learning more songs of The Beatles in guitar. Whenever I play them, I remember you. You always play their songs, and I've loved every single one of them. Mom found your chord book thing by the way, the red hardbound one. It's preserved in the library, and I open it every now and then just to look at your handwriting. Great song choices, by the way, dad! You do know the songs I love to hear.

I'm also in love with Jack Johnson. You should hear his songs! I just know you'll enjoy them as much as I do. Maybe you could even teach me how to play some of his songs! Most of his stuff are too complicated for me to figure out by ear, but I do try.

Anyhoo, I've been downloading lots of oldies, dad. My favorites are songs of Barry Manilow, Ray Charles, The Cascades, James Taylor and Stevie Wonder (of course, songs of The Beatles are a given!). I always smile when I hear "You Are the Sunshine of my Life". You've always sung that to me since I was little, haven't you? I can still hear you.

Oh yes, I've found the Spice World tape you bought me (way back, Grade 1) inside the Hilux compartment. I'll never stop loving the girl band (and to think you're the one who introduced me to them!) Remember, you said I looked like Baby Spice? Now I realize that you were probably just saying that and there's not even the slightest bit of resemblance between us even when I was a kid- but I believed in you.

Anyway, you'll be pleased to know that up to now, I'm still not required to wear glasses, or at least contacts, despite excessive reading especially under insufficient lighting. I'm still the book nerd that you know, although I've moved on with my Nancy Drew Notebooks obsession! I've also found a new haven in Powerbooks. You might be surprised to know that I actually find NBS sucky now, basically because it is usually crowded. Plus, they lack good book titles and stocks, which can get pretty annoying when you have to actually buy something there because you don't have a choice and then they tell you that they don't have this and that in stock. It sucks, It really sucks.
I wish you were still here though, so I could go visit my sanctuary whenever I want to. We'd spend a day swimming in a sea of loverly books, and hopefully I'd be able to convince you to buy me at least one out of the sea of books there.

Dad, remember how I used to be scared of the idea of camping, especially without you guys with me? Well guess what? I attended my first YA camp last summer, and I loved it. I loved the experience. I will always find such joy in worshipping God together with kids my age who truly love Him. I am just so blessed to know these people who are willing to serve Him wholeheartedly. I seek for opportunities where I can serve Him, even in such little ways like being one of the guitarists during masses or something. I'm following your example, dad, and my friends' too. I am filled with joy, knowing that I can also be one of them. Truly, there still is goodness left in this world.

How are you by the way, daddy-o? I've been talking excessively that I forgot to ask you how you're doing. Maybe because I know that you'll always be okay there. You shall always be happy. It's really nice to know that you're getting what you truly deserve. Won't you please say hi to Kuya Jes for me? Please say thank you for listening to me blabbing away during my chapel visits. I really appreciate it.

I just realized that I never got to actually "thank you-thank you", for everything. Thanks for helping me remember stuff I hurriedly memorize for quizzes and tests, even though I don't really deserve to remember them for being so stubborn. Thanks for helping us, in both small and big decisions whether it's deciding on which book to buy, or something really major, most of which are mom's concerns. :)) Thanks for making me feel better after crying my heart out. I can feel my troubles floating away together with the wasted teardrops of bitter memories. Thank you for always letting us feel like you've never left...

I hope you do hear me as I randomly talk to you in your home in Himlayan. I hope you don't mind that I don't really have serious issues to share with you. I just like to fill you in with the things you've missed. I just really miss talking to you.

I miss you, Dad. We all do. In your 44 years of existence, I've only shared 9 with you. I wish I knew you more. But I can feel that I am still in the process of knowing you still, through making us feel that you're very much with us. I hope you know that even if all that's left with me are memories of you, I shall lovingly keep them and remember them, and whenever I see the worst of the world, I have only to look at our million captured memories, and I know I'll be okay, seeing and remembering the simplest, most random and most beautiful things I have shared with you.

Your memories shall keep me safe.



Remember me,

Therese.

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in memory of my old blog
ijustcantshutup


it's still lost there somewhere in cyberspace

do take a visit.

oh yes, thanks to nicki for the loverly html-ing. all hail :))


omigesh i want one too!
omigesh i want one too!







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previous posts
~ fading worlds of make-believe
~ wheezer
~ AMP is dead.
~ hell hall, patch power and first day frights
~ making it beautiful
~ back to effing square one.
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008


random reads
randomness
my Deviant Art account: where photography is humdrum
my multiply: click for weirdness
lemony snicket: my hero
roald dahl: twisted
dr. seuss: for those who dare eat green eggs and ham
amazon: life's just like one
wikipedia: where you find everything.

crazy cousins
ate meg: adventure diva
ate che: misyoo

suckish schoolmates (kidding :))
ces: katotong hudas
koko: psycho
trixie: confused
kar: gossip girl mate :))
nikki: the white witch
paula: # 1 DJ
ella: great thoughts
hannah:donato
via: THE dancer
poj: kapits! :))
aiafafs: YA astig? :))

gem: gottalovedogs
danica: kitty witty?
krista: *yaya?*
nicki: html goddess
alex: the ultimate GENIUS
jescia: in LOVE
cha: bulang-guguuuuu!
joan: ee
frances: olan
phyl: reech keed?
yna: ahoho
danie: superrr
lori: nator
marion: busmate!
ate nica: harmoNICa (?)

some teachers
ate min: banaag '05
sir trogo: trogi the pogi
miss jennie jo: juniper

freako friends
ace: ex-shsian
odi: lonsquared
tar: ness
kuya rics: mr. pang-asar
CJ: virus ka
mara: kapits 2

YA Astig
dannie: delandanners
noel: rarr!!!
mica: woah no
louise: surfer girl
elyse: the great
anjo: anti-social?
theia: HMM?
paolo: lindt lover daaaw
ate marion : super dancer
angel: pedo! :)) joke
fin:ina
frances:arcilla
bianca:virina
josef: boy genius :))


face it, sucko.

i'm the hero of fools.

all quoted.

"The sad truth is that the truth is sad."

"It's amazing how people are always willing to listen to a man in a funny costume"

"People don't always get what they deserve in this world"

"You can not be a supermodel."

"I'm beginning to think that washing my face is a complete waste of time"

"Most women would rather be Cindy Crawford than Marie Curie"

"The world is a harum scarum place."

"If a guy is witty, charming and artistic, he is probably gay."

"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaraunt, filled with odd waiters who bring you items you never asked for and don't always like."

"In relationships, it is best to assume nothing."

"Not only am I very intelligent, but I am also very smart."

"Hey, I heard your friend died"

"Yea"

"Well, don't feel bad. He's an old guy, and that's what old guys do. They DIE."

"Certain things they should stay the way they are.You ought to be able to stick them in one of those big glass cases and just leave them alone. I know it's impossible but it's too bad anyway."

"I remember how, a couple of days ago, you and I killed a couple of hours with a computer game. Perhaps the game amused me more than it did you; I desperately needed a little respite from all my thoughts. But each time we 'died' in that game, a new screen immediately came up, and we were off again. How can we know that there isn't a 'new screen' for our souls as well? I don't think there is, I really don't. But the dream of something unlikely has its own special name. We call it hope."

blasto fasto. congratulations, reader, you've clicked the scroll button long enough to have reached the part that nobody dares to reach. now buzz off.

cheers. Locations of visitors to this page