Thursday, January 31, 2008
As Fat As Planet Jupiter
I seriously got to stop eating.
I mean SERIOUSLY FOR REAL NA TALAGA.
Well, I know I got to and have to but... I DON'T WANT TO!
GAH. There are SO many things to eat in Ateneo, grabe. Even Manang's, which is obviously the last last LAST resort, can be bearable when I'm really really hungry. I was wondering, Is there really NO end to my hunger? Like WHYYYYYY?
Okay, I seriously feel as big as Jupiter now.
You know, the planet?
And you know that I know that we all know that my legs are ultra-massive like a humpback whale. I think I've said that already before.
And, well, I don't think I'm cut out for work-out.
'Cause I don't have the patience and the will to really really lose the leg weight.
And GYM, I don't know, it's really not just me.
And sweat is so... icky. Heh.
Okay, so my legs are ugly, BUT HELL, I love my fries. And fries all go down to the thighs, right?
It's a Freaky Friday fact.
And you know how I could never understand the great obsession devotion whatever shiz people have for Rodic's? (SP?). 'Cause it's too sweet and the egg is too...watery. No, really.
BUT NOW, I finally finally do.
'Cause I've been OBSESSED with TAPA KING since this freaking week! I swear. 105 pesos of pure LOVE. I don't know, I love it talagaaaaa. :(( And I think Tapa King is until this week nalang. PUTEK HOW TO SURVIVE???? LIKE, HOWWWWW?
Okay.
See why I'm fat?
And wow, for some weird weird reason, when I came home today, my dinner was TAPA. HAHA. I swear, my yaya is really some awesome mind-reader.
Anyway. That's really all I have to say. Useless stuff, as usual.
My life is a lie.
I quote Bea Beeee.
RANDOM: If you watched American Idol yesterday, you know this girl coming down the escalator and said: "I'm gonna prove Simon wrong 'cause I'm gonna be the NEXT America's NEXT TOP MODEL."?
OMG it cracked me up.
Okay.
killed a random reader @ 3:14 PM
Monday, January 28, 2008
Compliments By The Bulk
Is it just me or is there something terribly terribly cold and sinister about the word "cool."?
Random Person left a comment on my unknown account saying something like this.
"cool."
I mean, okay.
I get it.
You're sarcastic and you hate what I posted.
You don't have to type all your rage out with one word.
"cool."
Or are you?
You see, "cool." can be very misleading.
"cool." can totally mean the opposite, meaning "lame." with a matching blank emoticon face (:|) to support evident disinterest.
Or, "cool." can also mean what it really means, as in COOL.
Only there seems to be a lack of warmth by saying "cool." instead of "COOL!!!!!!".
Am I even making any sense?
...
Guess not.
ANYWAY, really, I don't get people who seem to have a problem with giving out compliments by the bulk.
Well, the truth is, I could totally take praise cleverly disguised in single-wordedness.
"Great" or "Neat" totally works for me too, if not for the noticeable lack (or absence) of enthusiasm, sincerity and convincing punctuation marks such as "!" or "!!!!!!!".
However, I just won't be able to bask on the whole awesomeness that "cool" or "nice" can evoke upon me. You know, I can never figure out, on my own, the real ESSENCE of the word when you put it so blandly, dressed in small lowercase letters and depressing periods.
'Cause you know, plasticity isn't really what you call a luxury.
Anyone can afford it.
Anyone can fake enthusiasm and admiration through typed comments and replies.
Nobody ever sees your face scowl in discomfort as you type in "WOW!!!!" when you really meant "eew".
Pleasing people isn't really as hard as everyone thinks it is.
You just get a thesaurus and find all possible synonyms for the word "AMAZING" and you're good to go.
I mean, why say "cool." when you can always say "super fantabulously awesome drastic fantastic happening little bitch" .
You know?
What's wrong with being wordy?
If it's to feed my ego, I definitely have NO problems with that.
...
Actually on second thought, forget plasticity and all the crap that I said.
Just tell me straight up that I suck and I'll try my best to not throw a very unattractive fit in the middle of Sec Walk.
Or something.
killed a random reader @ 2:54 PM
Monday, January 21, 2008
Fooling Ourselves Again
HELLO.
I wrote a song about last year-ish. I haven't written the bridge part yet, don't think I ever will. Or at least, not anytime soon. But this song, I wrote for SEV AND I.
Just because...
Don't go hatin, 'cause I'm no EMO.
FOOLING OURSELVES AGAIN
We're drowning, drowning
We're drowning in a pool of
Longing and redemption
Searching for some wrong connection
We're falling falling
We're falling
And we keep on
Coming back and coming down again
'Cause
CHORUS:
We
We never learn
We crash and burn together
We can't go on like this forever
We
We act like we can beat the distance
But this time the chances chose resistance
And we can't be saved by our insistence, yeah
'Cause we're fooling ourselves again
Refueling ourselves again
We're losing, losing
We're losing to this great big
Gaping space between us
It's taking over all our reasons
We're trying trying
Just trying
As if we've never
fallen from the calling
That we heard time and again
'Cause
CHORUS:
We
We never learn
We crash and burn together
We can't go on like this forever
We
We act like we can beat the distance
But this time the chances chose resistance
And we can't be saved by our insistence, yeah
'Cause we're fooling ourselves again
Refueling ourselves again
YAY! Still no bridge, but I haven't gotten back to it since the time I wrote it. :D I don't know, I'm sort of annoyed by the repetition of words. HAHA. SO THERE! Again, I wrote this song for SEV AND I. Yes. She knows why. ;)
killed a random reader @ 3:41 PM
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Despite Evident Unpleasantness, I Am Actually A Very Nice Person
Okay, so it's already a known fact that I'm evil.
As I say, "I throw insults like frisbees, and frisbees like insults."
I quote thee myself.
Copyright stamped all over my phrase.
But I mean, I really couldn't help it. Whether you choose to call it frank humor or excessive/unnecessary bitching, it is what it is.
I'm not exactly proud of it, but I say what I want to say when< I want to say it. Within an excusable distance, of course, I do try.
However, there are moments that really make me feel warm and fuzzy and godly all at the same time.
It's when I learn to hold my tongue, not because I feel a certain pressure to restrain myself from throwing insults here and there, but because I can't seem to find anything to NOT like in the first place.
It is one of my golden moments, believe me, when I feel I can't do anything wrong anymore because the mere presence of faithful and innately wonderful people surrounding me is a thought so inspiring and so moving. All the harsh words and biting retorts that I usually enjoy blurting out seem meaningless and unfulfilling, as they should really be.
It is when I'm with the community, when people are so unbelievably selfless and faithful and dedicated, beyond shame and sacrifice.
It's where people sing their hearts out to praise God, while holding their hearts and lifting their hands up just to glorify Him.
It's where kids like me join music ministries or give out talks or support brothers and sisters instead of clubbing, getting waster or simply being idle. It's where infants grow up hearing bible verses and sleep through worship songs and play with the animals in Noah's ark- where they learn values such as sharing, caring and loving.
It's when we come together as people who aren't restricted through distances and differences, but as common friends who rely on faith and friendship and genuine service.
Whenever I attend community assemblies, I cannot help condemning myself for everything I've done wrong. For the countless curse words I have spilled out when I could've helped it, for the spare change I kept for myself when I could've given it, for the help that I didn't extend when I could've offered it.
The community makes me realize that, no matter how many people die because of acts of violence or responses to them, no matter how many people cry because of anguish, sorrow and defeat, no matter how many people grieve because of an arrival of a problem, a loss of a friend, or an eternal feeling of hopelessness, there will always be much good in this world, than bad.
There will always be people trying to make things look up for other people; people who try to make things better for other people with the friendliness of a phone call, the thoughtfulness of a gift, the security of a hug, the warmth of an invitation, the power of presence, and the strength of a prayer.
I've always regretted the years when we've stayed inactive in the community. It was those years when the togetherness of the families brought my mom an unfamiliar sadness. It pained her seeing moms and dads with their happy little children together, while we had to be deprived of a father and husband. But now, after almost 8 years of wandering around, insisting to be by ourselves, we've finally realized that alone isn't the way. People help, and we have been in need of help for as long as we can remember.
I can't help thinking if I'd be a better person than I am today if we never stayed away.
Maybe I could grow up wanting to become a nun, never having uttered a single curse word in my life.
Maybe I would be incredibly faithful, or toxically boring, or both.
Maybe I'd be better at understanding how to deal with depression, loss or math problems, the relations of which I don't know and won't ever know.
But all I know is this.
Even though I've missed out on quite a lot already, and though I am evil on both sides, there is still this one tiny glistening part of my beating heart that stays true and faithful and humbled by the awesomeness of the Great One.
Though I cannot ever pass up a perfectly good opportunity to defame someone, I know that I'll always constantly try to fight the greater temptations that the real world, or the university world has to offer.
LNP is love.
And I am very humbled.
killed a random reader @ 1:36 PM
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
To The Bastard Who's Hooking Up To Our Internet Connection
To The Bastard Who's Hooking Up To Our Internet Connection:
Hello.
Fuck off.
Stop Wi-fi-ing with us.
I can see you.
I can see your SHARED files, stupid.
I can see your fugly family pictures.
I can see your field trip photos.
YOU HAVE SHARED FUCKING FIIILES.
So here's my advice:
Buy some internet cards and stop Wi-fi-ing with our family.
If only I can figure out this Airport password thing out.
GRR! I'm gonna hunt those suckers down. HAHA.
Annoyingmuchly.
killed a random reader @ 8:20 PM
Saturday, January 12, 2008
We Couldn't Be More Different
I make cards for my mother
You call beer your brother
We couldn't be any more different.
YEA. Suddenly, I thought up of this line while actually making a card for my mom. HAHA. Cheesymuch. So I wrote it down. ;)
killed a random reader @ 4:45 PM
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Toxically Cheese
Because ES is so eternally boring, and boring isn't good, and boring isn't in my vocabulary, I fought the urge to copy notes (like the vury intellectual MAJOY) and just stared at my scratch notebook.
AND!! Dumdumdumdum...
I discovered some old song lyrics! Yays. I post fer your reading pleasure (or not). It;s kind of cheesy and all, but hello, we all have our embarrassing moments.
HERE SCHMERE:
We are the perfect little couple
But it's only in my mind
You look in all these other places
When I'm the only one you're trying to find
Will you like me even better
If I become unlike myself
Will we get through the ugly weather
When you keep leaving our love on the shelf
Chorus, supposedly, but I leave this blank.
Whenever you are coming near me
My heart prepares to take its dive
But it's unfair to be the only (one)
Keeping non-existent love alive
You know nothing of my weakness
You are the one who brings me down
But I'm a fool over and over
When you start coming back around
END.
It sounds so much like a suicidal song, but no not really. HAHA. Just for the sake of posting, while I'm waiting for my 400something pictures to upload. ;)
Soccer tomorrow, babes. MJ and I will die.
killed a random reader @ 4:44 PM
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Math is Illogical
So you know, I can't understand shit about Math logic, I swear, Math 12 sucks. Math sucks. Numbers suck. Logic sucks. I mean I don't even get why we're studying logic. It's not the logic logic kind that we really CAN use in life, like the logic required to decode a secret love letter, or the one needed to figure out if your happy crush knows you exist. You know, Math 12 is a different, tedious kind of logic which involves letters, often p, q, r, s and t, and weird symbols you can usually find on your keyboard. I bet my ass that after this Math course, I will never ever again encounter this kind of Math logic in my life, EVER. Of course, my future children will know not to come to me for Math problems.
Studying Math logic is vury vury illogical.
So yuck, I just wasted one paragraph talking about that. That's 2 minutes of my life I am never going to get back. So much for being productive.
There are SO many things to do in school. There's a lab report due last year, which we didn't make, and a reporting tomorrow on Tatarin, a story turned into a play (is it?) that involves dancing women, rituals and the word "orgy". No seriously.
I bet the perverted boys of R08 will enjoy that. But sorry boys, we won't be performing the dirty bits in front of you. ASA. We cannot afford to please you, no, not this time, and not ever.
ANYWAY, I am slacking, AGAIN, what I do best. I thought I was already convinced that I'll be doing super super great this sem, but NOOO, too many distractions, so much idle time to spend them on. And hello, do I look like a person who doesn't have a life outside school?
Well actually, that's somewhat true, but that's beside the point.
I swear to God I'll be writing another song (just the lyrics, 'cause my acoustic lost its first string and I DON'T want to practice on the classical) before I sleep. Or something. I've been very very frustrated with melodies, I can't write a decent one that I'll be really really really proud of if my life depended on it. It's sad actually, but I gots to practice practice practice.
PE has definitely ruined my body. My ribcage area (not the ACTUAL ribcage, HAH) hurts like no tomorrow, because I ran and ran and ran and missed the ball many times. My soccer group is so fun, we were the loudest ones cheering for Team WHITE, because woohoo, we love our team. 'Cause we're "GREAT". Not. It was so unfair 'cause the Varsity soccer player was on the OTHER team. HELLO? Why is she even playing with newbies like us? She should know that beginner's luck doesn't apply to sports. We were all physically not adept, and she is some muscle girl from Moro. Or the field. Or wherever all her athletic stuff happens.
So yea, PE was extra extra fun today, even though it busted my lung.
We bummed at SECWALK again, my eternal favorite place, while reading Tatarin scripts and making fools out of ourselves. Hah. Sanch and I were supposed to get a Frosty, but NOOO, they didn't have, so that ruined our day. Haha.
Filipino was interesting 'cause we didn't have an ACTUAL discussion. Just stuff about MMFF films and the Sagala Ng Mga Sikat, which we decided we wanted to enter. I'm really really excited to make Top 30 (I hope with all my heart), and of course, win something. So yea, we're keeping our fingers crossed.
Gah, I am still officially on a "VACATION HAPPY HAPPY CHRISTMAS" mode. This is not cute, it really isn't. But, school just has to happen. It's one of those unavoidable things that you just have to get over with. But Ateneo's not so bad, especially when you see THE thought-stoppers who, well, stops your thoughts, obviously. Namely... NOT. Nowayinhell ;)
I am getting Labo-er. And it all started so well with my clever little spiel about Math logic.
So I am redeeming myself by saying this:
WHEN THE SUN GIVES WAY TO THE MOON (I quote Jech Tiu), THE EARTH CRIES. (I quote myself.)
He is officially the EMO-est of all.
And really, I hate emo.
=)) Let's go Jech!
killed a random reader @ 3:21 PM
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Woah, Woah, WOAH
SHIT. SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT.
SHIT.
Essence fucking viewed my Multiply.
SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT.
Joke lang.
MY FIRST PANG-GAGO OF THE YEAR.
But really, all I'm kidding is myself.
OPS. emo. Shit. Haha.
killed a random reader @ 5:36 PM
Saturday, January 05, 2008
One-Sided (original song)
Here's the lyrics pala. Ops, conyo. ;) This is the original one with different choruses, but it sounded ugly. Sayang ang cool pa naman nung heart goes home drama. HAHA. Okay stop.
P.S. I changed the title.
MP3 of One-Sided- LISTEN, LISTEN! :D Click >>> ONE-SIDED MP3
One-Sided
I think its time to tell you
That I've been searching, oh searching on
Now you should know that I've been trying to reach you
And I've followed you to where your heart has gone
And maybe I'm just this close to finding
Why you keep on pushing me away
When I just want to keep on rewinding
The way we were and all the things we've thrown away
Since yesterday
Chorus:
And I need to know
If you want me back
'Cause I've been waiting for a reason
But tell me
If you just need your closure
So I know when to stop holding on
Holding on
Weren't you the one who told me
That I should keep the one I want in my hand
But you're the one who's trying to escape me
And I've tumbled down when I was starting to stand
Chorus:
And I need to hear
Pleas tell me that I've nothing
No, nothing to fear
And tell me if it's a one-sided love on our way
'Cause maybe I should tell my heart to go home today
Bridge:
Oh, do I have to give you up?
Please hold on to me again
I need to know
If you love me
If you want me back
If you need me to need you
Or should I just try to forget you
And regret you
But I can't
I can't
No I can't
I think it's time to tell you
That I've tumbled down when you walked away
YAAAAAY!
killed a random reader @ 1:34 PM
Friday, January 04, 2008
'Cause I Deserve To Be Happy, 2008
You wanna know something?
I think 2008 will be a good year.
2008 will be a great year.
I mean, it's 2008.
8 is an even number.
Even number is good.
I've always liked even numbers. I think they're nice looking. Put 7 or 5 next to 8 and you'll see what I mean.
Even number is great, so even number is lucky.
Great is to lucky.
It must follow, you know?
I think 2008 is going to be the kind of year where I'm going to try, well, stuff.
Stuff that's not obscene or immoral, but just, stuff, that I've never tried.
After all, I'll be 18.
I'll turn 18.
Eighteen.
Now that's a big number.
A big even number.
And even number is good.
Even number is lucky. Great is to lucky, and I know, I just know that it must follow.
2008.
I can hear it almost promising good things for me.
When December 31st comes again, I think I'll be counting down to the last second, thinking of the wonderful things that happened to me in 2008.
How I got this or how I met this or how I experienced this or how we did this. Or these. 2008 will be a happy year. I'm almost positive. It will be a fantastic fantabulous, bombastic year filled with cheer and smiles and happy thoughts.
No heartbreaks.
2008 will be good to me.
It will be the year of years where my moment of moments happened. It'll be my moments. And it's all for me and the ones I love.
2008.
Ah, yes. I'll be happy.
But you know, I could be wrong.
And if ever I'm wrong, I'll always have this blog entry as proof that I assumed wrongly again, like I have so many other times in my life.
The way I've assumed that my I would always have my Troll pin before I dropped it somewhere I don't know. The way I've assumed that there'll be another step to descend before I crashed down from the staircase to the floor. The way I assumed that my dad would stay forever before he died when I was 9.
It'll be another one of the many things where I went wrong.
But 2008 will be lovely, I said I was almost sure.
But, given the tiniest chance that it won't be, I guess I'll just have to wait for 2010, to assume and hope and pray and wish and know and believe that all it takes is an even number at the end of the year, for things to start going my own way, 'cause maybe, I thought I deserved it.
Maybe you do too.
killed a random reader @ 3:03 PM
I'll Leave You Something Special
SO, I'm back and I haven't posted any pictures or blog entries about the HK trip yet. I don't know if I'll ever get to do it, 'cause laziness calls and I answer everytime. Plus, here's a good excuse: Argumentative PAPER. ;)
Anyway, I'm posting this instead, 'cause I asked people to "do me". And it has to go around.
Leave a comment and I'll reply by answering the following. :)
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.
THERE.:Leav
killed a random reader @ 10:37 AM
