Sunday, January 20, 2008

Despite Evident Unpleasantness, I Am Actually A Very Nice Person


Okay, so it's already a known fact that I'm evil.

As I say, "I throw insults like frisbees, and frisbees like insults."

I quote thee myself.
Copyright stamped all over my phrase.

But I mean, I really couldn't help it. Whether you choose to call it frank humor or excessive/unnecessary bitching, it is what it is.

I'm not exactly proud of it, but I say what I want to say when< I want to say it. Within an excusable distance, of course, I do try.

However, there are moments that really make me feel warm and fuzzy and godly all at the same time.
It's when I learn to hold my tongue, not because I feel a certain pressure to restrain myself from throwing insults here and there, but because I can't seem to find anything to NOT like in the first place.

It is one of my golden moments, believe me, when I feel I can't do anything wrong anymore because the mere presence of faithful and innately wonderful people surrounding me is a thought so inspiring and so moving. All the harsh words and biting retorts that I usually enjoy blurting out seem meaningless and unfulfilling, as they should really be.

It is when I'm with the community, when people are so unbelievably selfless and faithful and dedicated, beyond shame and sacrifice.
It's where people sing their hearts out to praise God, while holding their hearts and lifting their hands up just to glorify Him.
It's where kids like me join music ministries or give out talks or support brothers and sisters instead of clubbing, getting waster or simply being idle. It's where infants grow up hearing bible verses and sleep through worship songs and play with the animals in Noah's ark- where they learn values such as sharing, caring and loving.
It's when we come together as people who aren't restricted through distances and differences, but as common friends who rely on faith and friendship and genuine service.

Whenever I attend community assemblies, I cannot help condemning myself for everything I've done wrong. For the countless curse words I have spilled out when I could've helped it, for the spare change I kept for myself when I could've given it, for the help that I didn't extend when I could've offered it.

The community makes me realize that, no matter how many people die because of acts of violence or responses to them, no matter how many people cry because of anguish, sorrow and defeat, no matter how many people grieve because of an arrival of a problem, a loss of a friend, or an eternal feeling of hopelessness, there will always be much good in this world, than bad.

There will always be people trying to make things look up for other people; people who try to make things better for other people with the friendliness of a phone call, the thoughtfulness of a gift, the security of a hug, the warmth of an invitation, the power of presence, and the strength of a prayer.

I've always regretted the years when we've stayed inactive in the community. It was those years when the togetherness of the families brought my mom an unfamiliar sadness. It pained her seeing moms and dads with their happy little children together, while we had to be deprived of a father and husband. But now, after almost 8 years of wandering around, insisting to be by ourselves, we've finally realized that alone isn't the way. People help, and we have been in need of help for as long as we can remember.

I can't help thinking if I'd be a better person than I am today if we never stayed away.
Maybe I could grow up wanting to become a nun, never having uttered a single curse word in my life.
Maybe I would be incredibly faithful, or toxically boring, or both.
Maybe I'd be better at understanding how to deal with depression, loss or math problems, the relations of which I don't know and won't ever know.

But all I know is this.

Even though I've missed out on quite a lot already, and though I am evil on both sides, there is still this one tiny glistening part of my beating heart that stays true and faithful and humbled by the awesomeness of the Great One.

Though I cannot ever pass up a perfectly good opportunity to defame someone, I know that I'll always constantly try to fight the greater temptations that the real world, or the university world has to offer.

LNP is love.
And I am very humbled.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
killed a random reader @ 1:36 PM





0 hits for a bad entry || hit me on the head?



let's go
back, back, back

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
in memory of my old blog
ijustcantshutup


it's still lost there somewhere in cyberspace

do take a visit.

oh yes, thanks to nicki for the loverly html-ing. all hail :))


omigesh i want one too!
omigesh i want one too!







do scream here
Powered by TagBoard Message Board
Name

URL or Email

Messages(smilies)






previous posts
~ To The Bastard Who's Hooking Up To Our Internet Co...
~ We Couldn't Be More Different
~ Toxically Cheese
~ Math is Illogical
~ Woah, Woah, WOAH
~ One-Sided (original song)
~ 'Cause I Deserve To Be Happy, 2008
~ I'll Leave You Something Special
~ In A Few
~ Poised To Be Yours (original song)
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008


random reads
randomness
my Deviant Art account: where photography is humdrum
my multiply: click for weirdness
lemony snicket: my hero
roald dahl: twisted
dr. seuss: for those who dare eat green eggs and ham
amazon: life's just like one
wikipedia: where you find everything.

crazy cousins
ate meg: adventure diva
ate che: misyoo

suckish schoolmates (kidding :))
ces: katotong hudas
koko: psycho
trixie: confused
kar: gossip girl mate :))
nikki: the white witch
paula: # 1 DJ
ella: great thoughts
hannah:donato
via: THE dancer
poj: kapits! :))
aiafafs: YA astig? :))

gem: gottalovedogs
danica: kitty witty?
krista: *yaya?*
nicki: html goddess
alex: the ultimate GENIUS
jescia: in LOVE
cha: bulang-guguuuuu!
joan: ee
frances: olan
phyl: reech keed?
yna: ahoho
danie: superrr
lori: nator
marion: busmate!
ate nica: harmoNICa (?)

some teachers
ate min: banaag '05
sir trogo: trogi the pogi
miss jennie jo: juniper

freako friends
ace: ex-shsian
odi: lonsquared
tar: ness
kuya rics: mr. pang-asar
CJ: virus ka
mara: kapits 2

YA Astig
dannie: delandanners
noel: rarr!!!
mica: woah no
louise: surfer girl
elyse: the great
anjo: anti-social?
theia: HMM?
paolo: lindt lover daaaw
ate marion : super dancer
angel: pedo! :)) joke
fin:ina
frances:arcilla
bianca:virina
josef: boy genius :))


face it, sucko.

i'm the hero of fools.

all quoted.

"The sad truth is that the truth is sad."

"It's amazing how people are always willing to listen to a man in a funny costume"

"People don't always get what they deserve in this world"

"You can not be a supermodel."

"I'm beginning to think that washing my face is a complete waste of time"

"Most women would rather be Cindy Crawford than Marie Curie"

"The world is a harum scarum place."

"If a guy is witty, charming and artistic, he is probably gay."

"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaraunt, filled with odd waiters who bring you items you never asked for and don't always like."

"In relationships, it is best to assume nothing."

"Not only am I very intelligent, but I am also very smart."

"Hey, I heard your friend died"

"Yea"

"Well, don't feel bad. He's an old guy, and that's what old guys do. They DIE."

"Certain things they should stay the way they are.You ought to be able to stick them in one of those big glass cases and just leave them alone. I know it's impossible but it's too bad anyway."

"I remember how, a couple of days ago, you and I killed a couple of hours with a computer game. Perhaps the game amused me more than it did you; I desperately needed a little respite from all my thoughts. But each time we 'died' in that game, a new screen immediately came up, and we were off again. How can we know that there isn't a 'new screen' for our souls as well? I don't think there is, I really don't. But the dream of something unlikely has its own special name. We call it hope."

blasto fasto. congratulations, reader, you've clicked the scroll button long enough to have reached the part that nobody dares to reach. now buzz off.

cheers. Locations of visitors to this page