Friday, June 22, 2007

to dance with you again


What the effer.

I can't even write shit!!!

I WANT TO WRITE SOMETHING! :((

I've been trying since 11 am. And it's, what, 5:54?

I hate being "out of the zone". Eew. I'm so gay.

I don't know. Maybe it's that "time of the month" that's doing this to me. I am so effed up right now. Shizzz.

We're going away for the weekend. It's my dad's birthday - the 24th. I did something for him. I recorded Dance With My Father Again w/ guitars and all that- my voice sucked but whatever. I cannot possibly re-sing that again. It makes me feel depressed and whatev.

I'm posting what I've written for him here. I'll post the song I did too, if only I didn't sound like a pig about to be made to chicharon. Doubleshit.

Anyway. I miss my dad.

FOR YOU:

My Dad and I used to dance together.
He always took my hands and we'd waltz around the living room, him singing a humble tune fit for a royal ball. Visions of my future debut filled my dad's head - he dreamt of the day when he and I would be dancing together in formality, in front of the people whom I care for the most.
He used to love it.
I used to hate it.

I didn't dance. I thought I knew how, but videos of my grade school field demos proved my assumptions wrong. I never tried to dance again- after the macarena and the LA walk phase, I ended any attempts to do so.
But dad always took me. He tried to make me interested- to just let loose and glide through the polished floor, lost in the music he's making. And I always brushed him off. I thought, there would always be millions of dances ahead of us.

I was wrong, of course.
In fact, there weren't any dances left for us at all. I try to remember how our final dance went- the last time he took my hands and hummed a tune- the last time I tried to push him away. I realized, I couldn't remember. No one knew it would be the last.

My dad, he felt things he didn't say, as I did. And I think we never expressed to each other how we felt about dances and debuts and all the other stuff that mattered to him but didn't to me. If these things I knew, I wouldn't care about my utter lack of gracefulness anymore. When he asks me to dance, I know I will.

In the future, I'd probably take a certain, or slight, affinity for dancing. I might, but this I do not know yet. I may want to get up and dance every now and then. It might not even take me an invitation to get me to dance my heart out. I just might, on my own, decide to dance. I'm sure it would be great, loving something I used to hate, as I look back on the horrid memories of my past dislike for it. I might even laugh at the silliness of the idea - that I hated it so much before that I refused my dad's every offer to dance me through the boredom of the afternoon. That would probably be grand, yes. The day I finally lose myself to the music- just how my dad wanted me to before.

I would, probably, have many other dances in my life. Maybe in some party, or someone else's debut, maybe in a relative's wedding or my future own. I'd be dancing with many other people- people close to my heart and people that I trust enough to let them guide me through the tedious act of dancing. Time passes, and people go. Though eventually, I'll get to learn to like the art of dancing with somebody else- maybe not through LA walks or waltzes- but I know only one thing: I'd give up absolutely anything to dance with my father again. Absolutely anything.



Happy freakin birthday, daddy.
I'm college now!
Co-ed na.
Worried ka na no?
Haha. Right.
I can't even find decentness inside the campus.
No need, dad, no need.

Cheers.

Devious and Twisted,

Therese

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omigesh i want one too!







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previous posts
~ flirting
~ poetry for the dumb
~ seconds
~ nose holes
~ narnia, middle earth, terabithia
~ stuck
~ the daredevil's plight to impress miss smartypants
~ what are the odds?
~ windows of soul
~ the black list
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008


random reads
randomness
my Deviant Art account: where photography is humdrum
my multiply: click for weirdness
lemony snicket: my hero
roald dahl: twisted
dr. seuss: for those who dare eat green eggs and ham
amazon: life's just like one
wikipedia: where you find everything.

crazy cousins
ate meg: adventure diva
ate che: misyoo

suckish schoolmates (kidding :))
ces: katotong hudas
koko: psycho
trixie: confused
kar: gossip girl mate :))
nikki: the white witch
paula: # 1 DJ
ella: great thoughts
hannah:donato
via: THE dancer
poj: kapits! :))
aiafafs: YA astig? :))

gem: gottalovedogs
danica: kitty witty?
krista: *yaya?*
nicki: html goddess
alex: the ultimate GENIUS
jescia: in LOVE
cha: bulang-guguuuuu!
joan: ee
frances: olan
phyl: reech keed?
yna: ahoho
danie: superrr
lori: nator
marion: busmate!
ate nica: harmoNICa (?)

some teachers
ate min: banaag '05
sir trogo: trogi the pogi
miss jennie jo: juniper

freako friends
ace: ex-shsian
odi: lonsquared
tar: ness
kuya rics: mr. pang-asar
CJ: virus ka
mara: kapits 2

YA Astig
dannie: delandanners
noel: rarr!!!
mica: woah no
louise: surfer girl
elyse: the great
anjo: anti-social?
theia: HMM?
paolo: lindt lover daaaw
ate marion : super dancer
angel: pedo! :)) joke
fin:ina
frances:arcilla
bianca:virina
josef: boy genius :))


face it, sucko.

i'm the hero of fools.

all quoted.

"The sad truth is that the truth is sad."

"It's amazing how people are always willing to listen to a man in a funny costume"

"People don't always get what they deserve in this world"

"You can not be a supermodel."

"I'm beginning to think that washing my face is a complete waste of time"

"Most women would rather be Cindy Crawford than Marie Curie"

"The world is a harum scarum place."

"If a guy is witty, charming and artistic, he is probably gay."

"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaraunt, filled with odd waiters who bring you items you never asked for and don't always like."

"In relationships, it is best to assume nothing."

"Not only am I very intelligent, but I am also very smart."

"Hey, I heard your friend died"

"Yea"

"Well, don't feel bad. He's an old guy, and that's what old guys do. They DIE."

"Certain things they should stay the way they are.You ought to be able to stick them in one of those big glass cases and just leave them alone. I know it's impossible but it's too bad anyway."

"I remember how, a couple of days ago, you and I killed a couple of hours with a computer game. Perhaps the game amused me more than it did you; I desperately needed a little respite from all my thoughts. But each time we 'died' in that game, a new screen immediately came up, and we were off again. How can we know that there isn't a 'new screen' for our souls as well? I don't think there is, I really don't. But the dream of something unlikely has its own special name. We call it hope."

blasto fasto. congratulations, reader, you've clicked the scroll button long enough to have reached the part that nobody dares to reach. now buzz off.

cheers. Locations of visitors to this page